Medium Lobster: Big Gay, Revealed!

Fafblog is a trip. Always. I wouldn't even know how to begin to describe the written mutterings of Medium Lobster and the always-third-person Giblets. Medium Lobster is in fine form today. Well, first, you need to know about the latest news from Alabama (the state that Maryland is not). Here's from the Montgomery Advertiser:

Gay Alabamians hoping to adopt children in this state may never get the chance. A group of state lawmakers is pushing a measure to stop them.

The Alabama Legislature is considering a proposal that would make it illegal for a person who is gay to adopt a minor. Currently, there is no state law that would prohibit a person who is homosexual from adopting children. However, because of the state's Marriage Protection Act, which only acknowledges marriage as being between a man and a woman, same-sex couples are effectively prohibited from adopting children. Bill would forbid gay adoptions

OK, so that's Montgomery, Alabama, which some people confuse with Mongtomery County, Maryland.

And here's the Medium Lobster talking about this new development:

Children of the Gay

It's good to know that even in these dark times, when California and New York City are preparing to join Massachusetts in caving to the forces of Big Gay, that some are still standing up for the forces of Western Civilization, protecting and serving humanity by constantly asking the question, "What basic rights can we strip from gay Americans today?"

Today's ray of hope comes to us from the Alabama Legislature, which is considering a proposal to ban gay adoptions in the state. As Mac Thomason points out, adoption of children by gay couples is already prohibited by Alabama's existing marriage ban, but this measure will helpfully crush those last few single stragglers thinking of raising a child.

Some may spend some misguided sympathy on the plight of a would-be gay parent, but only after forgetting the true victims of gay adoption: the adopted children, taken away from the comfort of an orphanage or an endless succession of foster homes to be raised by a gay parent - a malicious influence set on assimilating all within its reach into the vast phalanx of the Gay.

As all truly informed gayologists know, the Gay convert others to their massive, hive-like collective by implanting the young with gay nanobots, which reproduce and take over the brains of the young, inevitably transforming right, proper, heterosexual brains into diseased Gay brains, infested with bacterial bath houses and camp subcultures. With this fearsome dedication to assimilating all that is right and normal, no child can be left in the care of the Gay be any just society. (From this we can conclude that gays inevitably raise and recruit gay childen, and that gay children are raised and recuited by gays. To Dick Cheney and Alan Keyes: you are fooling no one.)

But is prohibiting gay adoptees enough? What about gay uncles, gay aunts, gay neighbors, gay friends? How can humanity protect its children from the Gay Menace when children may still be unwittingly exposed to gay people on any streetcorner? Only by either wrapping all children across the world in enormous layers of thick, gayproof padding, blinding them from contact with non-straights until the age of thirty, or by rounding up all gays everywhere and placing them in specialized degayification camps. As one of these options is patently absurd, the only sane response is self-evident. Children of the Gay

See, we sat through a three-hour song-and-dance last weekend where a parade of truly informed gayologists described Big Gay and its many techniques for sucking the brains out of our young people, and how the new health class is a tool for gayifying the kids.

But it wasn't funny.

We taped it, and even the tapes aren't funny. Listening to it puts a knot in your stomach. Because as funny as Medium Lobster is, as obvious as his satire is, there are people right here in our county in Maryland (which is not Alabama) who want to make our schools into degayification camps, people who really believe this junk. They should be made fun of, seriously, and then ignored.