Monday, February 20, 2006

"Ask Amy" and the Straight-and-Narrow Neighbors

My daughter read this to me this morning, out of The Post. Seemed relevant to some of the discussions we've had here...
Dear Amy: My husband and I have lived in our quiet suburban Denver neighborhood for six years.

About two years ago two young gay men moved in across the street. They've taken the ugliest, most run-down property in the neighborhood and remodeled and transformed it into the pride of the street.

When it snows, they shovel out my car and are friendly, yet they mostly keep to themselves.

Last month I went out to retrieve my newspaper and watched them kiss each other goodbye and embrace as they each left for work.

I was appalled that they would do something like that in plain view of everyone.

I was so disturbed that I spoke to my pastor. He encouraged me to draft a letter telling them how much we appreciate their help but asking them to refrain from that behavior in our neighborhood.

I did so and asked a few of our neighbors to sign it.

Since I delivered it, I've not been able to get them to even engage me in conversation.

I offer greetings but they've chosen to ignore me.

They have made it so uncomfortable for the other neighbors and me by not even acknowledging our presence.

How would you suggest we open communications with them and explain to them that we value their contributions to the neighborhood but will not tolerate watching unnatural and disturbing behavior. - Wondering

Dear Wondering: You're lucky that these gentlemen merely choose to ignore you.

Your neighbors could respond to your hospitality by hosting weekly outdoor "gay pride" barbecues and inviting all of their friends to enjoy life on our quiet suburban street.

I can hold out hope that they will choose to do this, but I'm spiteful in that way. Your neighbors sound much more kind.

In your original petition to these men, you basically stated that while you value them when they are raising the standard on your street and shoveling your driveway, you loathe them for being who they are.

The only way to open communication with your neighbors would be to start by apologizing to them for engaging your other neighbors in your campaign. Because you don't sound likely to apologize, you are just going to have to tolerate being ignored.

21 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's send it to Laura Schlesinger for her take.

February 20, 2006 4:25 PM  
Blogger Alex K. said...

*applause*

(for Amy)

February 20, 2006 5:17 PM  
Blogger digger said...

Yeah for Amy.

February 21, 2006 7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like the despicable day of anti-family forces is nearing nightfall.

Today, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case on a law outlawing certain types of abortion. Another fictitious "constitutional right" seems headed for the dustbin of history.

Also, sixteen states now will have referendums on the November ballot banning adoption by gays.

A lot of good people are very happy today.

February 21, 2006 4:26 PM  
Blogger Dana Beyer, M.D. said...

Once again, you're an idiot.

First off, we have no idea how the court will rule. Secondly, if the Supremes ban any abortions, then states will act to make it legal. If they don't, they will be thrown out. As I've said before, probably the best thing, politically, for this country would be for the Supremes to overturn Roe, becuase it would cause an awakening of true Americans who would throw all of you out at once. The end of today's Republican party. Which might happen this fall anyway.
The same thing for gay adoptions. This country is splitting in two. A modern state, and a medieval one, known colloquially as the Bible Belt or the Confederacy. You will be moving to Virginia in the near future, where you'll force your daughters to bear unwanted children, you'll teach Genesis instead of evolution and you'll beg the US to ship stem-cell-derived medicine to you, and you'll finally have to pick up the tab for all your social ills, because the blue states, the productive states, will no longer be obligated to do so.

February 21, 2006 4:40 PM  
Blogger Dana Beyer, M.D. said...

Once again, you're an idiot.

First off, we have no idea how the court will rule. Secondly, if the Supremes ban any abortions, then states will act to make it legal. If they don't, they will be thrown out. As I've said before, probably the best thing, politically, for this country would be for the Supremes to overturn Roe, becuase it would cause an awakening of true Americans who would throw all of you out at once. The end of today's Republican party. Which might happen this fall anyway.
The same thing for gay adoptions. This country is splitting in two. A modern state, and a medieval one, known colloquially as the Bible Belt or the Confederacy. You will be moving to Virginia in the near future, where you'll force your daughters to bear unwanted children, you'll teach Genesis instead of evolution and you'll beg the US to ship stem-cell-derived medicine to you, and you'll finally have to pick up the tab for all your social ills, because the blue states, the productive states, will no longer be obligated to do so.

February 21, 2006 4:41 PM  
Blogger CorinneD said...

Anonymous said

"Looks like the despicable day of anti-family forces is nearing nightfall.

Today, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case on a law outlawing certain types of abortion. Another fictitious "constitutional right" seems headed for the dustbin of history.

Also, sixteen states now will have referendums on the November ballot banning adoption by gays.

A lot of good people are very happy today."

First, as Dana said, just because the Court agreed to hear the arguments does not mean they will find such laws constitutional. Second, that referendums banning adoptions by gay people are on the November ballot does not mean they will pass. But regardless of what happens I supsect your despicable anti-humanity diatribes will continue. Do you know what I wish for you anonymous? I wish for you a child or grandchild who is gay, so you will truly know that the love of all God's children knows no bounds. I, of course, don't wish that for them, as you likely would disown them.

February 21, 2006 5:03 PM  
Blogger Alex K. said...

Gee Willickers!

I guess fascism is still around.

February 21, 2006 5:33 PM  
Blogger Dana Beyer, M.D. said...

Alex,

There is really no other way, unfortunately, to describe the Bush administration, than fascist. They are not conservative, as most conservatives admit today, and they are certainly not demonic liberals. They are corporatists who are supported by cultists and religious fundamentalists, with a critically important militaristic bent, who want to keep women and minorities in their place. Mussolini would be proud. Just look up the definition of fascist, and you'll see how close the match is.

Oh, while Anon-W gleefully reports on ballot measures banning gay adoption, what may turn out to be the story that actually brings down the Bush administration has broken over the past few days -- the willingness, nay, the determination of Bush to turn over US port security to the U.A.E., a demonstrably terrorist state. Bush stated today he would veto any legislation overturning the deal. And Rove is in the loop on this one? I don't think so.

February 21, 2006 5:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"First, as Dana said, just because the Court agreed to hear the arguments does not mean they will find such laws constitutional."

Actually, it does. A similar case already has come before the court. The law was overturned 5-4. O'Connor was 5. Alito will be a different 5. It's over.

"Second, that referendums banning adoptions by gay people are on the November ballot does not mean they will pass."

I guess it's possible the heartland will undergo a sudden conversion and embrace this idea but the oddmakers out in Vegas say no.

"But regardless of what happens I supsect your despicable anti-humanity diatribes will continue."

Yes, to the truly twisted mind, opposition to the murder of small children is anti-humanity. Same with support of a wholesome atmosphere for orphans.

February 21, 2006 11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I guess fascism is still around."

Could you explain this fascinating observation, Alex?

February 21, 2006 11:13 PM  
Blogger Orin Ryssman said...

Ok, rather than responding to the silly rather unserious throwing about of the "F" word, that is Fascism, I think I will respond to that Denver Suburbanite Who Hath Too Much Time on her Hands...

Dear BusyBody,

Have you ever heard the expression that as a Man Soweth so Shall He Reap? Surely your Pastor told you that...then again, maybe not.

BB (that is BusyBody) writes,

About two years ago two young gay men moved in across the street. They've taken the ugliest, most run-down property in the neighborhood and remodeled and transformed it into the pride of the street.

When it snows, they shovel out my car and are friendly, yet they mostly keep to themselves.


Wow, that you should be so fortunate...yes, I have gay neighbors too, and for the most part they keep to themselves (though I will stop and chat with one or the other while they walk their dogs).

BB writes,

Last month I went out to retrieve my newspaper and watched them kiss each other goodbye and embrace as they each left for work.

I was appalled that they would do something like that in plain view of everyone.


So, you saw two men kiss? Well, Boohoo! You knew they were gay when they moved in...what did you expect them to do when taking leave of each other? Shake hands???

BB writes,

I was so disturbed that I spoke to my pastor. He encouraged me to draft a letter telling them how much we appreciate their help but asking them to refrain from that behavior in our neighborhood.

I did so and asked a few of our neighbors to sign it.


BIG MISTAKE...they are your neighbors, not fellow congregants, so they need not ask or seek YOUR approval for the manner in which they live their lives.

BB writes,

Since I delivered it, I've not been able to get them to even engage me in conversation.

I offer greetings but they've chosen to ignore me.

They have made it so uncomfortable for the other neighbors and me by not even acknowledging our presence.


What did you expect???!!! Good grief, you openly humiliated them and now you expect them to treat you as a neighbor. For their acts of goodness (done I suspect so that you would view them as good neighbors that happen to be homosexual) you returned meanness that attacked them at the core of their identity. Again, I ask, what did you expect?!!!!!

BB writes,

How would you suggest we open communications with them and explain to them that we value their contributions to the neighborhood but will not tolerate watching unnatural and disturbing behavior. - Wondering

You want my opinion? Look, I am a Roman Catholic and I take my faith seriously...a faith that takes a dim view of the homosexual orientation. But I have been a neighbor (and friend) to several homosexuals. And the first rule of neighborliness is to allow each to live out their lives with dignity and respect. You stripped your gay neighbors of that dignity and respect, and since you do not seem to think that you have a need to change, the situation in your neighborhood will likely remain as it is now.

Pity that...if you had given them a chance they could have been more than just neighbors...they could've become friends. Now they will be strangers that you happen to live near. You will have to make peace with the way you treated them, realizing that you have made the bed in which you sleep.

February 22, 2006 4:49 AM  
Blogger Dana Beyer, M.D. said...

Thanks, Orin.

February 22, 2006 7:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Personally, I would prefer gays refrain from exhibitionism.

February 22, 2006 7:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"This country is splitting in two. A modern state, and a medieval one,"

Looks like Dr. D wants to start a new country. Montgomery County, Massachusetts, Manhattan and Marin County will apparently merge and form a new kingdom. They'll call it...."Mmmm".

February 22, 2006 10:08 PM  
Blogger Orin Ryssman said...

Anonymous said...
Personally, I would prefer gays refrain from exhibitionism.

February 22, 2006 7:37 PM


Anonymous, have you ever looked up the definition of "exhibitionism"?

Exhibitionism: noun, The act or practice of deliberately behaving so as to attract attention.
The American Heritage College Dictionary, 3rd ed., 1993

It is clear to me from the original post,

Last month I went out to retrieve my newspaper and watched them kiss each other goodbye and embrace as they each left for work.

that there was no sort of "exhibitionism" going on here at all. Certainly they were not doing it for the benefit of their Busy Body neighbor.

February 23, 2006 5:18 AM  
Blogger Dana Beyer, M.D. said...

It's very clear: a man and a woman embracing -- healthy traditional sex role play. Two men -- exhibitionism. I wonder which turns Anon on?

February 23, 2006 7:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, Orin and Dr D. I do think displays of homosexuality should be discreet. It's a different standard. It should be.

February 23, 2006 8:08 AM  
Blogger andrear said...

Anon- no one cares what you think! I know some people here want to coddle you but not me. The woman in the letter is despicable- and obviously stupid- not to understand how offensive she was.

February 23, 2006 10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Anon- no one cares what you think! I know some people here want to coddle you but not me."

They just tell you that to keep up morale, Andrea. They can't counter my arguments.

I know you. You'd rather amuse than coddle.

February 23, 2006 4:12 PM  
Anonymous Xeno said...

Why are people here feeding this troll?

All he makes are inane statements without any sort of argument.

March 04, 2006 9:05 PM  

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